


and catch the sun

by multicorn



Series: an affair and an adventure [2]
Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-07
Updated: 2013-03-07
Packaged: 2017-12-04 14:10:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/711603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/multicorn/pseuds/multicorn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They don't hold hands on the subway, but Adam's hands on the metal pole right above his, Adam's feet staggered opposite his own like the position at the start of a dance, make all the blood in Kurt's body beat closer to the surface.  He's never done this before, never close to gone home with a strange boy, but there's no way out of this strange world of isolation but through.  *I don't know what I'm doing* balanced against *I want to know*, the latter easily wins.</p>
            </blockquote>





	and catch the sun

**Author's Note:**

> thanks to misqueue for the beta :)

They don't hold hands on the subway, but Adam's hands on the metal pole right above his, Adam's feet staggered opposite his own like the position at the start of a dance, make all the blood in Kurt's body beat closer to the surface.  He's never done this before, never close to gone home with a strange boy, but there's no way out of this strange world of isolation but through.   _I don't know what I'm doing_ balanced against _I want to know_ , the latter easily wins.  
  
They walk back to Adam's apartment together quickly and without much talking.  Kurt hums snatches of tunes as they walk, _the stars in a hazy heaven tremble above you_ , and lets Adam take his hand again and rub it, warm fingers working hard against the late January cold.  The neighborhood's even worse than Bushwick Adam had said, and so he lives a cramped studio apartment but he’s able to have it all to himself.  
  
And that's all that Kurt knows or wants to know before he drags Adam down to kiss him against the just-closed door.  His right hand is in Adam's hair, making its way underneath his unfortunate hat, and his left hand's pulling at the unyielding collar of Adam's shirt.  His lips are hungry under Adam's, sucking and open, his face and chest and body and feet all tilted into it as Adam gentles the kiss, slowly, slowly, and he finally pulls back to see what damage he's caused.  Adam leans his forehead against his own and lets out a low whistle, and Kurt silently cheers.  
  
"Can I show you around?" Adam asks.  Kurt tries not to stiffen.  "There's not much to see, like I said, but there's a couch you can sleep on if you want, and the bathroom is right down there - "  
  
Kurt interrupts him quickly.  "Can we just go to your bedroom?"  
  
"Of course."  
  
Because he needs to not lose momentum now; don't stop, and you won't have time to be scared.  Adam stops them just inside the room, though, and puts a hand on his chin to hold it, looks at him as if he's looking for _something_ , and Kurt wishes he would just _stop thinking_.  But of course it's not fair; he's not the only one who's allowed to hesitate or think things through, so he waits it out.  "You're really something, you know," Adam says.  
  
Kurt thinks, _great job, that was really worth making me nervous_ , but says, "what do you mean?"  
  
"When I started talking to you I thought you were just this freshman kid, and I mean, you're beautiful, your voice is amazing.  But - you're really not a kid, are you?"  
  
Kurt's breath catches.  Everything he's doing here, sometimes, still feels like a role that he plays, but if someone else thinks it's true it then may it's real enough for now.  "I'm not," he says, and slides fast on the joy and relief of it back into the game, and plays.  "So does this mean I can't keep casting you in the role of an older man in my fantasies?"  
  
Adam pulls him in again, and the warmth, the closeness, the shape and sway of the movement is the beginning of something he remembers.  "What sort of older man?"  
  
"Oh, you know, substitute teachers.  My ex's older brother.  The usual."  
  
Adam laughs with him - he just keeps laughing - and kisses him again, hands on his shoulders, leaning over, tongue licking over and over his bottom lip.  "You can do that later, sure.  But for now… what do you want?"  
  
His body knows how to do this, it's on automatic now and it seems that it never forgot.  Muscles tightening and loosening, the well-worn patterns of desire flaring back up.  And he starts to say, "I miss - "  
  
Kisses off to the side of his face, "what?"  
  
But he can't say, like he would have before, _I miss feeling you inside me_.  Because it's not the same _you_ here, and isn't that the whole problem, that makes even the language so new.  So he raises his chin, and looks up through lowered lashes.  Adam's tall enough for it to work even when they're both standing, and oh, he thought he'd never get to look physically up to a lover like this.  "I want you to fuck me."  
  
Adam kisses him hard.  Tongue swiping between his lips, and into his mouth when it opens, and Kurt hums his lips closed around it and sucks.  Playing dirty.  Adam pushes himself away, hands warm and open on Kurt's sides, and Kurt lets go.  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"I am," and if his voice is shaking, it's as much from need as from doubt.  
  
Adam unbuttons his shirt so gently, and Kurt wants to beg him to _hurry up_ , but he's speaking too.  "Is it because I sang you that song?"  
  
Kurt laughs again, and the warmth in his chest melds with the heat.  "No.  Really, no.  I just - "  
  
"Know what you want."  Adam's straightened up again, and instead of pushing the open shirt off Kurt's shoulders he's laying his hands there, kneading in.  "I like it."  
  
"I like _you_ ," Kurt says, and he pulls Adam down, another kiss, his skin open to the air this time and everything just so much.  "May I?"  He tugs at Adam's shirt and Adam pulls it off, over his head, and pulls Kurt against him again.  So much skin after so long without is overwhelming, and Kurt feels the telltale prickle of tears in his eyes, squeezes them tight and pulls back.  Adam takes advantage of the momentary space to slip off his jeans too, standing there only in boxers now, and then he looks back up at Kurt's face.  
  
"What's wrong?" he asks gently.  "Do you want to go home?"  
  
"No, it's nothing," Kurt says, shaking his head, "don't _stop_."  But he turns away anyway, throat working, cheeks staining red with shame.  He feels like he shouldn't have to say this, why can't he just get around it as well as over, but every way he tries it comes back to - "I miss him," he says, and at least he doesn't cry.  
  
"Do you want to talk about it?"  
  
Kurt can hear the offered comfort in Adam's voice, but it's useless right now.  He doesn't need sympathy, this is just so _frustrating_ and what he really needs is for it to go _away_.  "I don't know.  I don't think I'd want to be with him again even if I could.  I just thought it was getting easier."  
  
"Shhh," says Adam, kissing the back of his head, pulling him closer against his side in an embrace that's now purely platonic in spite of all the skin involved.  "Shhh, it'll be okay."  
  
"Will it?" Kurt asks.  
  
"It does get easier, you know.  I promise."  
  
He doesn't know, that's the problem.  He wants to believe.  But he also just wants to forget, and he wants to feel close to someone again, and he just wants so many things.  And the talking has been nice, it really has, but he doesn't want to be stuck there anymore.  "Kiss me?"  
  
"Of course."  
  
It feels closer, now, more real; the tears that he's just barely held in, the cracks in the shell around his heart.  This is a little more of what being with someone is supposed to feel like; he clings closer, and Adam walks both of them a couple steps backwards to sit side by side on the bed.  
  
"Do you know," Adam says, "that the first time a boy I really loved broke up with me, it took me almost two years to get over him?"  
  
"Wow."  Kurt rubs his face on Adam's shoulder - he doesn't want to stop touching - but this is _fascinating_.  "What finally did it?"  
  
"Oh," Adam shrugs, "just a song I heard, actually.  Made me feel like I could really start being alive again."  
  
Kurt narrows his eyes, slowly, into Adam's neck.  "What song?"  
  
"Um.  Being Alive.  When you sang it, at the Winter Showcase, I mean, I know that's not what the song's really about, and it wasn't because of _you_ \- "  
  
Kurt's laughing almost hysterically now, kind of fallen away from Adam's side and sprawled back on the bed, because what else can he do, this is _crazy_.  
  
"I wasn't planning on telling you!  It's just that you _asked_ \- "  
  
"Adam.  Shut up."  
  
"I respect you as an artist," Adam says, very solemnly, and if Kurt can still see the edge of laughter in his eyes that's okay because they somehow never seem to quite stop.  
  
And he's just - funny and cute and a little bit dear now already and most of all right _here_ , almost close enough to touch but not quite, and Kurt has to close that distance, it's too small a gap for the charge not to spark.  He pulls Adam down onto him, both arms around his neck, laughing until the very last moment, when Adam's lips are close enough to reach and they're kissing again.  
  
He moves to straighten out on the bed and Adam follows him.  Adam's fingers brush the skin of his stomach above the waistband of his pants, a touch that makes him want more, and he arches up into them and whispers _yes_ and watches as Adam takes them off.  Everything left comes off together, pants and boxer-briefs and even socks dropped over the foot of the bed, and he pulls Adam back up again with a foot on his leg and says, with a smile, "you too?" and Adam with another smile complies.  
  
Then he's naked, they're both naked, and he surges up to pull Adam back down against him, their chests and their hips and their thighs together, and oh, Adam's cock against his own is just bliss.  Nothing else feels like this, like sex, he didn't know much he needed it till just now that he has it again.  He moves against Adam, the friction dragging rough, and he's making embarrassing noises, he knows, but Adam keeps catching them too, with another kiss, another, another.  Adam's cock is so wonderfully hard against his, he pushes and rubs to one side and then to the other, he can't get the alignment to stay steady but just rubbing and rolling, across the length of his own cock and the skin and the moving strong press of it, he feels Adam grunting too into his mouth and his hands grasping on his sides.  He can't quite come like this but he almost wishes he could and he's feverish with it, can't stop moving, shifting his hips gracelessly to feel the most -   
  
"You're so good," Adam's saying into his shoulder, "so hot," as his hands come around under Kurt to hold his back and move them harder together, and Kurt lets his own hands slide to push down on Adam's ass and just _hold on_.  "What should I - ?"  
  
And because Kurt has no filter apparently anymore, he says, "will you suck me?"  
  
Adam sits back up, regards Kurt's cock, holds the base of it in his hand (and oh, it _wants_ ), and says, "with pleasure."  
  
He gets a condom out of his nightstand drawer and rolls it down on Kurt's cock and the anticipation is another part of this whole thing that's so familiar and so glorious.  Adam sucks on just the head first - it's not the same, not as good as the wet heaven of Blaine's mouth, the pressure is good but it makes him want _more_.  He whimpers, and Adam sucks the next inch into his mouth, and then the next, tight against the roof of his mouth with his tongue curling sweet around it, and Kurt just.  What good are comparisons, when you can feel like this, you can feel anything at all?  He tries to say something like this, incoherent, with his hands, and then Adam shifts and takes all of him, going into the back of his throat.  He sucks hard and steady, and Kurt groans, he's sucking all of Kurt's brains and insides out, everything, it's so hot and the slurping rhythmic pressure builds in his balls and in his lungs brought finally from so many months to so sweet a point where it can almost be released.  "Wait," he says and Adam's head pulls off to look at him, face inquisitive.  
  
"I'm going to come."  
  
Adam grins, "good," and sucks him in again, and Kurt lets himself be taken and run over by the pleasure of it, Adam's hands on his ass now pulling apart a little and a hungry pulling all around his cock and he's coming, it looks like, all over the stars and sky, but really shivering there on Adam's bed and shaking himself apart with pleasure.  
  
Eventually Adam strips the condom off his softening cock and ties it up and throws it in the garbage, and Kurt pulls Adam back up to cuddle him and kiss.  "That was so much fun," Adam says, and Kurt hums happily back at him.  "Do you still want me to fuck you?"  
  
Kurt's all dumb-happy and tired and warm, so now it's easy to say "maybe later, I don’t know, or maybe another time, sorry, is that okay?"  
  
Adam hugs him closer and laughs.  "Of course, it's all fine," and kisses his ear, and Kurt shifts away, it's ticklish.  "So should I just get myself off after all?"  
  
"I want to do something," says Kurt, stretching out, "just give me a minute."  
  
Adam kisses his nose this time.  "Okay."  
  
Adam's skin against him still doesn't quite feel like a home, but maybe a shelter, and he shifts to stretch against it, limb against limb, and feel more.  Adam's cock is still hot and hard, poking into his hip and he touches it, relishing the flesh against his fingers, moving them slowly back and forth until he draws out Adam's moan.  
  
"Do you have another condom?"  
  
He rolls it down on Adam's cock and bends down to suck it in; his mouth waters, he can't help it, it's been way too long since he's gotten to do this at all.  He licks at the tip and down the shaft before opening his mouth wide; the flavor/non-flavor of latex is strange, he's never had to taste it before, but then Adam's cock still stretches his lips properly, and he goes down, sucking hard.  His hands are on Adam's thighs, feeling the muscle, and the scent of _boy_ is still strong enough to get lost in even if the taste is masked, and Adam's noises from up above feel so good, so good, he can't get hard again right now but that doesn't stop him from wishing he could.  It feels so good to make Adam fall apart, to feel him pulse and cry and come.  And when Kurt deals with the clean-up, to help put him back together again before climbing back up to cuddle.  
  
Kurt brushes his hands into Adam's hair and his face all over Adam's face; Adam makes happy noises into it but seems drifting, too tired to respond, and so Kurt just curls into him too.  Eventually Adam's eyes open and focus again, and he turns to look at Kurt.  
  
"How are you feeling?"  
  
"Happy," Kurt says simply, and it's true, but then, considering further, "I don't feel like the world just ended."  
  
"Were you expecting it to?"  
  
Kurt shrugs.  "I don't know.  I was never expecting to be here, I mean, but now that I am…" he lets the sentence drift away, and gives a vague little smile to try to finish it off instead.  
  
"Now that you are, what?" Adam asks lazily.  
  
And Kurt's clearly way too comfortable in the aftermath, because of course he's never had to learn not to be, so he says, "it's not that bad."  And catching himself, horrified, "I mean - not that you're bad!  You're really good!  Great, even!  It's just - "  
  
"The situation.  I get it," Adam says, "I'm not offended.  And I'm glad, for you."  
  
"Thanks," Kurt says, and cuddles back in happily.  This isn't anything he ever planned for, but who knows, maybe it will work anyway.  At least for now. **  
**


End file.
